I’ve been noticing a growing movement on LinkedIn: more and more people are waking up to a simple truth: when you work for a company, you’re not part of a big family. You’re an employee. You’re part of an organization that exists to be profitable, and whose main goal is to solve a problem society is willing to pay for. Society wants “faster horses.” It doesn’t care if you, as an individual, really need a family.
I’m not saying that a company — or a manager — shouldn’t care for their employees. It’s quite the opposite: because people dedicate so much of their lives to work, they must be treated with respect. Although a leader is not responsible for the employee’s happiness, they play a significant role on it. And this is what belonging is about.
People used to think that a great place to work is one where there are no employees — there’s a family. But here’s the thing: family businesses are often the worst, mostly because of the lack of boundaries. You never really know if you’re talking to your dad, your uncle, or the Logistics Manager — or maybe the Production Manager. And it gets worse: if a relative is a complete idiot poor performer with little hope of getting better, you can’t even fire them to bring in someone more competent.
On the other hand, you don’t put your family through endless — and often meaningless — hiring processes (okay, maybe you did that with your partner). You don’t give them performance reviews to decide if they deserve a bonus, or kick them out if they’re underperforming. Families and companies are just fundamentally different. Sure, some families may own a business and work together, but any other person they hire isn’t part of the family — they’re employees.
This doesn’t mean that the meaningful relationships we build during working hours have to stop at 5 PM. The best places I’ve worked were the ones where people still made time to hang out after hours—whether at a bar or a co-worker’s house. I met some truly amazing people in those environments, and many of them are still my friends today, even though we stopped working together 12, 15 years ago. It’s been over 20 years since we first met.
This is the most important unwritten rule of culture: culture isn’t written. When people feel like they belong, they make the group work. And belonging means having the right people doing the right things. It goes beyond the “skill waste” described as the 8th waste in Lean—where people are either overqualified or underqualified for the job. What really matters is having people who get shit done, speak plainly, and genuinely care about each other.
Ok, but how do I create such environment?
“Actions speak louder than words.” It’s a cliché because it’s true. If you want your team to care about each other, lead by caring first. No, they’re not your family—but they give their time, energy, and effort to something you’re building. Caring means knowing when to be personal, when to step back, and when to simply listen. Don’t ask how someone’s doing unless you’re prepared for the real answer. And most of all, make them feel valued.
An employee isn’t going to feel truly valued just because they got a praline during “mental health month” or a pat on the back for doing a good job. It’s not that those gestures are meaningless — but let’s be real: people work to provide for themselves and their families. Make sure their pay is competitive with the market, and more importantly, compensate them based on the real value they bring to your company.
Salary is a hygiene factor: no one brags about it when it’s good, but you’ll hear about it the second it’s not. A solid paycheck won’t make someone feel like they belong to your company, but it will make them a lot more willing to tolerate its flaws. And the more flaws you have, the bigger that paycheck needs to be to keep them around.
A great coach I had, Aly Baddauhy Jr., once told me: “never miss the opportunity to punish someone.” That doesn’t mean you should be out hunting witches — it means you need to enforce the rules, every time. If the rules suck, fix them. Don’t trap yourself in a system you created. But once you set the rules, stick to them. If you start picking favorites or making exceptions, it won’t be long before you lose control — and respect.
Good salary, rules enforcement… and the third pillar of belonging is movement. Sure, some people are comfortable doing the same thing day in and day out — but sooner or later, they’ll be replaced by automated systems. Most people want more. Life isn’t about staying safe inside a loop; it’s about learning, building new neural pathways, and leveling up your skills.
It’s also crucial to know who you’re promoting: the wrong choice can demotivate your entire team. There’s no foolproof formula to guarantee the best decision or to avoid disappointing someone — especially since most people believe they deserve a promotion. But if you have to choose just one person, pick someone who’s consistently delivering and has already shown they’re ready to take the next step. If no one fits that profile, go with the person who shows the most interest in your role. They’re likely the most engaged team member, and promoting them can motivate others to grow and step up as well.
The most important thing about promotions is this: never wait for someone to tell you they need or deserve one. If it gets to that point, it means you’re out of touch with your team. And if you’re disconnected from them, it likely means they’re not seen as important to the company—which, in other words, means they don’t belong.
How can I know whether my team feels like they belong?
There’s a great built-in thermometer that can help you answer that question: your gut. If you feel like your team doesn’t trust you or isn’t telling you everything, you’re probably right. Don’t get me wrong — it’s completely normal to feel insecure about your leadership. It’s one thing to question your decisions or how your team sees you. It’s a whole different thing to feel that your people don’t belong — and might be using the company Wi-Fi to search for their next job.
There are other techniques that can help you find the answers you’re looking for. I’d love to dive into them now, but I also want you to feel like you belong here—and come back for more. So stay tuned.