There are leaders, and there are bosses. You’ve probably come across this idea—in a book, a LinkedIn post, an image shared online, or even in a polished speech by a self-proclaimed guru: “Leaders provide inspiration. Bosses give orders.“
While being a boss means occupying a formal management position in a company, leadership is about influencing others in a way that makes them willingly want to follow you. People are unique, drawn to different traits in those they choose to be led by. Understanding what motivates your team and cultivating those qualities is what defines a good leader.
The fundamentals I present here aren’t the only things needed to be a good leader, but they are essential if you want to establish real leadership with your team. This is just the beginning.
What does it mean?
When I say that leadership is not about management, I mean that a person doesn’t necessarily need to hold a position of power to lead others. In some teams, there are individuals who contribute so much that they naturally earn the respect of their peers—sometimes even more than the formal boss. Good leaders recognize and respect these “informal leaders,” knowing how to collaborate with them effectively.
That said, a good leader cannot approach every team—or even every individual within the same team—in the exact same way. Leadership isn’t about what your team can do for you; it’s about what you can do for your team.
Now think about this for a moment: who are the people you cared about most during your personal or professional journey? Who were the ones you followed without hesitation? What did those people have in common? Was it the way they asked? Their integrity? Their ideas? Their ability to justify a request? Or was it the things they did when they didn’t have to lead you?
Leadership is about ownership
Good leaders own their shit. Success is the team’s merit, and failure is the leader’s responsibility. This doesn’t mean a leader should take the blame for someone deliberately doing something stupid. Bad behavior and skill negligence must be dealt with accordingly by the leader to prevent reoccurrences. And if those persist, whatever comes next will be the leader’s responsibility for not taking the proper actions to eliminate that unwanted behavior.
A good leader builds trust within their team, so everyone feels empowered to take risks, knowing they’ll be supported and won’t be thrown under the bus. A leader protects their team, owning the critical decisions and taking responsibility for the consequences, while ensuring that all resources are available for flawless execution. Furthermore, the leader holds the lantern when navigating through dark waters, providing clear direction.
Your team must feel safe under your leadership. That means sharing meaningful information, having your team’s backs, and making sure they know it. If your team doesn’t feel safe enough to take risks while following your lead—and you hold a position of power—then you’re not a leader. You’re just a turtle sitting on top of a tree holding a shotgun. Your team might follow your commands, but they won’t respect you, nor will they support you when you need them most. Worse, you could be on the brink of losing your most valuable players without even realizing it.
Leadership is about mentoring
I don’t care what people say about the difference between coaching, mentoring, directing, teaching… they’re all the same. If people can’t learn anything from you, that means you suck your people won’t see you as a leader.
That’s because learning something new is enjoyable. There are people who didn’t like school because they had to be there. And if you ask them about something they actually remember learning, they’ll either recall something they truly learned (probably with a smile on their face), or talk about a subject and how annoying or cruel the teacher was. In the second case, trust me, they’ll spend far more time talking about the teacher than the topic.
That’s because learning is genuine. People can memorize texts and formulas to pass an exam, but that’s not real learning. It’s like using a stencil to produce consistent results without actively engaging in the learning process (nothing against stencils, but this is about leadership, not manufacturing). When I give lectures, it’s very easy to me to tell when someone truly learns something: it’s almost as if you can feel the sensation of accomplishment and the neurons making new synapses, communicating in an entirely new way.
This is why some coaches and gurus, famous for treating their coachees terribly, gain so many followers—they can create content in a way that’s easy to digest and people can actually learn. It’s cool to feel intelligent. You can be as kind as a brick, but if you can teach others, you will be followed.
Leadership is about empathy
Empathy can be defined as “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation” (Cambridge Dictionary). In other words, “the pain the other feels bothers me“. You are not responsible for your employee’s happiness, but you certainly play a significant role in it.
Considering a full-time, 8-hour workday, you’re in charge of a third of someone else’s day. That’s a lot of time. If you factor in traffic and sleep, you are the person your employee spends the most time with during their waking hours. You’re the person they dedicate most of their life to while they work for you.
If you can’t understand how your employee feels in a way that allows you to approach them with meaningful insights, you’ll still have some influence over them. But that influence will last only as long as your relationship does. You won’t be remembered. Eventually, your team will grow tired of you and seek out a new leader.
Conclusion
Being a leader and being a boss are two completely different things. A boss is defined by the hierarchical position they hold, but a leader is defined by their ability to have others follow and be influenced by them.
Good leadership is all about making meaningful connections with those you want to lead. People can do what you tell them to, but that doesn’t mean you’re truly leading them. Building solid connections is the key to success.
Want to learn more about leadership beyond these fundamentals? Reach out to me at luisborin@luisborin.com or through the form below.